Love Liberates.......

I thank God for another day~
Let's see~my birthday has come & gone. My home burglarized, and another argument. (Don't know what happened to blog about bday & burglary but just know was a very scary moment for my children & I and I pray it never happens again. Now for update).

It is a constant battle to not allow myself to be drawn back into hurt.....I find myself doing what I think in my heart is right, but last night was told I was partly to blame for my hurt. Because I care so much and love so hard I allowed the hurt to continually happen (and this shift of blame was said by the person who continually had deceitful actions and was dishonest). This person was quick to say that "that's the problem, no one(me) wants to hear the truth and when they do they can't handle it". But he couldn't tell me one time he was honest from the jump~his honesty always came after I had sleepless nights, was made to feel like I was trippin', and a nonsense argument about the lie. All of that for him to be honest after the fact ~
With another friend I realize I seek his attention. He dishes it to others on a social site, but I realize lately I've initiated the "hey" or "how r u"s and it was never like that before. He use to always hit me up. What makes me still hold on? Have hope? Sex has recently been cut. We don't even live in close proximity, but I continue to try and keep these friendships that don't reciprocate the same as I give. I ask God to heal my heart, help me to work through these issues, so that I can give my love and attention to someone who is deserving of it. Keep my self-esteem up and realize him sleeping with different girls and being dishonest doesn't mean it's my fault or that something is wrong with me. The other not keeping communication doesn't make or break me. I miss him checking on me but need to let go. I don't want to harbor bitterness, I don't want to have trust issues, I want to remain the sweet woman that I am and take better care of my heart. I asked God to keep my heart because I can't be trusted with it. I continue to subject it to hurt and need to do better.

~Peace & Blessings~