So I finally watched "Love Jones". Can't believe I've never seen it. Crazy but there have only been 3 men in the last 6 yrs to make me that head over hills. At least Darius was able to move past his ego and fears to let Nina know exactly how he felt.
Anyway, sitting here on my mothers couch, all packed and ready to go, and my mother is no where around.... Yes I am very sad.... I wanted to spend our last night here with her but in trying to surprise her she had another agenda. Why am I sad? Because it's not like I get to see my mom when I want, wherever I want. We went to the cemetery today, I'm usually in tears once I hit 50 East, but today....today not so much. It will be 7 years this Saturday and I feel as if I'm finally making progress in healing. I never went to grief counseling 'cause I never felt there was anything anyone (especially someone who knows nothing about me), could say to ease the pain of loosing him. I know it wasn't my fault but hearing that from someone else did not matter either so......
I'm ready....*sighs* I'm ready to return home and get busy. Busy with my career, busy with finishing Grad school & Sign Language. Busy with being a mom. Busy dating me.
If I cross paths with him, whomever he may be, so be it.....but it is far from MY agenda right now.
4 hours til flight.
~PnB~
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