Dating.....

I need to vent my dating life...... My girlfriends are not always available and I don't want to constantly nag/bug about this crazy roller coaster I go thru (although they, including 2 guys, are very supportive and experience some of the same....) so I want to start writing about it.  I have a journal that I keep but often miss writing and want this strictly to be my dating adventures.  So with that being said I begin......

Single Mother - Single Parent (Widow) - 2 Children, daughter 14 and son 13 - Educated (MBA)
Work - Clean - Cook - Fun ( I believe) - In Shape - God Fearing - ..............yea all that, that's me.

Them.....

1. DJ 
History - Cool friendship (I thought) messing around for over the past 5 years, live in different states so always made time when I was in town, speak here and there, holidays, check on each other, etc.  Has one son, dropped out of college but makes a decent living doing his passion.

Current - Recently found out thru a social site that not only is he in a relationship but has a baby on the way...................................................................................................

Thoughts - Our friendship wasn't what I thought it was, I felt hurt to find out such information on a site and not from his mouth, wish them both the best.

2. N
History - Have known each other just about as long as DJ, live in different states but see each other occasionally when I visit, parents have been married over 30 years, no children, graduates this Fall, just overall good genes.  The only thing that really bothered me is the smoking.

Current - Graduates this Fall and while not sure where he will reside he does show interest in having a relationship with me.

Thoughts - Can't say I'm totally head over heals for.......but would be willing to give a try.....

3. L
History - I would say he ranks number one......but that's more based off interactions with my children, him being there while in hospital with one, just has always been here for me.  Has one son, finished Master's, parent's have been together a long time, always encouraging and checking on us.

Current - Resides in a different state, more focused on getting career started and being able to see son more consistently.

Thoughts - Not sure how our paths will be but I do understand the son/mother situation so am a good supportive friend and just appreciate when we do get to see each other.

4. S
History - Have known the less from the previous, lives in same state, no children, Military.

Current - Graduates this coming Spring, has given me hell.........have given a break and actually blocked from my cell phone.  I love so much but tired......

Thoughts - Need to allow time to grow......without me.

5. M
History - Have known a couple years.  Two daughters who live in HI.  Criminal background, didn't graduate HS nor College.

Current - Wants to be a rapper :-/ Love the street smarts but also hurts communication demeanor and attitude.

Thoughts -  I care about him but he definitely has some issues to work through.  We actually got into it last night because he was upset that I wouldn't come visit him but how I'm always in another city, etc.  I told him that 1. He doesn't know how I afford to visit the places we go and 2. that he offers to provide gas SOMETIMES but then somehow forgets to retrieve cash etc. *sighs*

So...........those are the ones now (well minus DJ). 

Last week S and I spent some time before Thanksgiving together.  We pillow fighted....played.....was really fun.  But then him not asking what the children and I had planned for the Holiday (knowing we have no family here) hurt....made me feel as if he didn't care.  We went to visit my girlfriend in Austin and on the ride up I thought about her, my ls, another best friend, my sister, and how their relationships are.  They're not perfect but  they have them.  I don't have anyone to play with consistently, talk to about my day, be held by at night, none of that.  I have "play time".  December will be here Saturday, a new year soon and I just refuse to continue down this path.  This summer I developed the attitude of "Give Time and Attention where Time and Attention are Reciprocated", KTQ.  This quote has helped me tremendously!  I know there are things I still would like to accomplish (PhD, Home ownership, Travel) and just trying to channel energy on those things so not caught up so much with this Single Life.  There are some other gentlemen that attempt to date me.  I'm not as attracted to them and haven't felt the connection.  Part of me is ready to take a 6 month break.....6 months to focus on me, develop relationship with God, knock out Goals and prepare myself for what I really want. I have tried before and failed so bad.  But nothing beats trying....... 

Went thru some old post and came across something I wrote back in March of 2010

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6414225538247665074#editor/target=post;postID=94532956188881497


~Peace & Blessings~