I'm not the enemy......

S and I got into a huge argument last night.....but it wasn't so much the stupidity behind the argument, it was the fact that he called me out my name in his frustration.  I called because the night before I had a thought that maybe we don't talk much because 1. He's stated that he has gotten comfortable & 2. That maybe we don't have anything in common scared to say..... He replied that I was thinking too much.  What would I like him to do?  I stated to just call and see how my day is, how are things, etc.  He stated that he knows where I am, I don't do much to put myself in harms way, and basically why it makes no difference that he can go a day or two without talking to me.  My mouth dropped..... am I boring?  Am I that much on a schedule and routine? 

Anyway, he's been stressed out with school, work, and was having some very negative thoughts on yesterday in which he shared with me afterwards.  Being the good woman that I am I encouraged him, and just started speaking positive things to him.  I've been there WITH 2 KIDS, trying to finish school, income low, and I'd like to think my stress has been at an all time high for most of the latter part of my life being a widow.  But I felt as if his frustration and anger  was then turned on me as if I were the enemy.  My late husband never raised his voice to me, never cursed me out, never called me out my name.  I wasn't raised in a yelling home, the most yelling I've experienced is when I entered the Army and had Drill Sargent's in my face.  The fact that he can go a day or two and not be worried about me because "you don't do anything....." hurt.  Men are always approaching and trying to talk to me.  Call/Text everyday to see how I'm doing, how my day was, just showing care.  I want that from my mate......from someone who states to care about me so much.  I'm hurt, I'm upset, I'm tired, I'm confused, how can the man that states he loves me so much divert so much anger my way.

I'm not the enemy.......