Responsibility.......

Christmas has come and gone and just in a short amount of time things have changed. This will be short as I am trying out this new Blogger App - but either way S and I ended things......like really ended things. It came down to him not being ready. Telling me you love me and your afraid to lose me yet you would like to meet other girls was not connecting for me. He ended up looking me in my eyes and telling me that he is not ready to step up to the plate.....and when he tells me he loves me and doesn't want to lose me he means that he knows he will continue to hurt me and would rather step aside now then the love I have turn into hate and I really dismiss him from my life. He is tired of hurting me, he does feel bad knowing I've cried / stressed and he knows why he calls me crazy. He jokes and calls me crazy but it's all behind him, and while he's now trying it feels as if I'm more focused on when the next phuck up will be instead of enjoying the moment. For the first time I had a man actually be honest with me and admit to just not being ready. My ex from almost 8 yrs ago just finally admitted this mess a couple days ago and he's older than me smh.

Bottom line it hurt ~ but I felt it was coming so I cried my tears and then of course got back to life. See I can't waddle.....life doesn't stop with pints of Ice Cream or Shopping Binges for me 1. I'm lactose intolerant and 2. Broke *giggles* but honestly I'm a mother and a strong woman so I pull my lace Vicky boy shorts up and keep moving.....hit my duck walk and let the pain slowly flow off my back.

2013 is in 4 days and I've been spending my time wisely ~ cleaning my home each room at a time, time with my children (when my son isn't with his boys), and just relaxing / enjoying my paid time off. I accomplished a lot this year 1. New Car 2. App complete for PhD program 3. First NBA Game 4. Did a little more for my self personally (Example: Am now hooked on Brazilian Wax's ha). I have completed my new list of goals and it has definitely grown. I've also added a word that I would like to focus on this year *RESPONSIBILITY* I vow to take responsibility for my love life, my happiness, my health, my mental stability, my time, my education, basically my overall well being. I procrastinate badly and will try to use my time more wisely.

Thanking God for another year of His blessings in advance......

~Peace & Blessings~