So let me get this straight.....

So S goes pretty much all day yesterday and not speak a word to me.  I go off on a relitively small tengent text trip.  Not really snapping but first I call to ask if he's eating (because I'm caring like that).....then I just let it flow........

This blog was gonna be about how I went off on the way home, no response, yet got alarming calls between 1 and 2 am this morning, along with a text assuming I was with someone.  Please refer to the wonderful photos that I've attached to the right -->

My blog has now changed because an event has just taken place....... This ninja just showed up at my office.  It never fails..... He piss me off, I cry, get angry, ignore, he shows up, apologize, long talk, repeat.  Vicious Cycle.  This time though the talk was a little different.  Our last conversation he decided to spill, asking me questions here and there but me never admitting to SH*T.  I didn't want to hurt him like that or admit that I had stepped out (not really stepping out since we're not "traditionally together") and he view me differently.  But today...............................................................................................................today was a different me.  He asked me about one I became him, "Why are you asking about him?  Where are all these questions coming from?"  lol  He was like your face says it all and this look came over him like.......hurt.....disgusted......and for a tiny milli second I did feel bad......and then I thought of all the bull sh*t he's put me through, the nights I cried, calling and he saying he was sleep, studying, the ignoring, and then I felt..............................................................................nothing.

You see I've loved him so much, nothing I wouldn't do for him, feed, help with bills, hell I need help myself, but as I mentioned in previous post just was being me and holding the one I cared for "down".  He was like I can't believe we're having a conversation like this, I agreed but was like can be any worst than what has happened so now what?

I told him I was ready to retire......tired of working for his love......he replied he's ready to act right, but if I'm ready to retire he's not gonna start and we both laughed.  I thought he was playing like whatever *cough* bull sh*t, but he was really waiting for me to answer.  I basically told him that I would follow his lead.  He started asking my age again?  And I once was upset that he didn't know how to spell my name correctly or know my birthday but I realized he knew more of the emotional side, the deep stuff that I've been through and when we talk knows me.  He calls the other stuff elementary stuff that comes with time.  It's been over a year........how long do men actually take to have the light bulb moment???

I had my entire layout of my blog ready to go when he walked in but now I'm like now what..........??

~Peace & Blessings~

PS....Sorry can't get pics to show - will keep trying.....