In 1971 "The Persuaders" had a number 1 hit "Thin Line Between Love and Hate". I head this song growing up and as with many songs as I child never understood their true meaning and would just sing along.
In 1998 a famous lyricist R Kelly also had a number 1 hit "When A Woman's Fed Up"..........He said "It's like running out of love.......and it's too late to talk about it". In 2002 he gave us "A Woman's Threat" .....speaking of how another will enjoy all the pleasures you once had with that woman if you don't act right....
Last night for the first time I had a moment.......I dropped so many F Bomb's and for those that know me know that I rarely curse and it takes a lot for me to reach that point of pesstivity (no it's not an actual word but is for me). After work I decided to take S a sandwich. He had been sick in which I admit I didn't believe at first. But just this last weekend after having a very fun conversation I asked him what I thought was a simple question, "What's the longest you've gone without sex?". Since our discussion Christmas I completely let things go, been in my word day and night, praying, just focused on other things. There was no trap, no underlying motive, was simply asking my friend how long he's ever gone without sex, being I am embarking on Abstinence myself. Well in his eyes this was a set up. His first reply was 13 years when he was a virgin in which I responded "Wow......not even a week with us lol You know what I mean punk! lol" His second reply was that he was getting upset and would shut down. I became confused as to how my simple question (to me) could cause him to become so upset. The text went from that to him ignoring me after telling me he was lending his bedroom to some other girls and was all down heel from there.
So.....during my visit on yesterday his exact words for explanation were "I know you and it would've been an argument". Me, being dumbfounded, tried to plea my case, tell him that wasn't true, to please listen, and he then tells me that he's tired of listening to me. ?? That he's been listening to me for the past year and a half and that I need to "shut up and listen". He had company over that was sitting outside with us and then went inside.....all while he was reading every message I had sent him. I felt humiliated, embarrassed, hurt. There was this look in his eyes like he was so disgusted with me....will never forget it.....and here I was bringing him something to eat looking stupid.
The moment when the love that you had for someone turns into hate.......
I got in my car and the tears begin to come. I had held them back during the ordeal but could no longer contain them. My tears turned into a loud cry, I felt so much pain...........my stomach, my head, just a lot............and then that pain turned into anger......rage......."Fuck this!" "Fuck THIS! I don't deserve this". And then came..........."Fuck him.....Fuck Him......Fuck HIM!" This then became "I hate him......" Yep............ I later asked God for forgiveness of course but at that moment....................................it felt so good.
~Peace & Blessings~
PS: Then I get a text this morning "Good morning beautiful" as if nothing has happened at all. Done.
2 comments:
Maybe the emotional connection he experienced with you made it almost impossible to go more than a week without enjoying you in bed?
Sooooo not being able to go without our emotional connection in bed meant go and sleep with someone else ???
Anyway this post had nothing to do with him sleeping with others. I didn't even bring that up....just merely asked him the longest he had gone without sex, minus Basic Training.
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