Blooming......

Goodness.......did not realize I hadn't written or did an update since February! 
That only means that I've been LIVING!  *huge smiles*

I have a new plant, actually two new plants as of today :-) 

So on with the updates.........

1. Daniel Fast  - Completed 01/2013

2. "The Purpose Driven Life" - Still needing to get caught up!

3. Date Night / Girls Night Out Monthly - Poetry Night (Jan.) Superbowl Party (Feb.) House Party (tonight :-) Night Out with co-worker (March)

4. Dating with no attachments - I haven't had a date this year yet.......and I'm absolutely fine with that......for right now.  This changes so I need to find balance and really be ok with it.

5. Abstinence - Didn't do well with Lent......and was actually doing good until night out :-/  Back to one day at a time......

6. PhD Program - Took the GRE AND turned in application for Juvenile Justice.  I'm also looking to apply to the Higher Ed. program as well.  Now the wait...... :-)

7. 52 Week Money  Challenge - I am catching up this month!
8. NO Chemicals or Heat on hair for at least the next 6 months - Braids are out!  Now have weave in place for protective styling until end of May
9. I will commit to Yoga daily - Hit and miss some days but for the most past have been getting in weekly
10. Cancun or Miami in June (Girlfriends Bday) - First & second payment made for Cancun!!  Also, was worried about the flight purchase but a friend has got me a Buddy Pass :-)  So far all is still a go!
11. Myrtle Beach in August (First Family Reunion) - Still not many responses from family so this may be a no go :-(
12. California in December! - Still in the making......

13. Church Participation (Choir, Youth, etc.) - Need to do better!

14. CASA Appointment - Completed Feb. 11th, 2013!!

15. Obtain a Passport - Accomplished! Mar. 9th, 2013
16. No Overdraft fee's for the year - Bombed - Rough first couple months.....but hopefully no more starting with March.

17. More toning with weights - Just getting over the Flu and hoping to get back on it this week. 
18. Six Flags Fiesta Texas / Daughter's bday - Decided to not do.  Started Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and just decided to put that money towards all bills being caught up.  She's getting her hair done instead :-)
19. Mosaic Women's Course - I did decide to let this go for now. I may revisit later in the year.

20. Monthly FunDay with kids - Missed Jan. but tomorrow taking them to the Jam Session for All Star!! - So they didn't want to attend All Star with me - Darius's life has become consumed with skateboarding and Allana just didn't want to go :-(  Will think of some other fun things......

21. Take more baths than showers - Need to do better........

22. Blog about every single one of these items - Can't believed I missed the entire month of March but will do better.....

23. Delta Sigma Theta Centennial Celebration - Not happening

Some things I am adding is 24. Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University - I had been wanting to complete this class for a while now and happy to report that tomorrow night is my last class!  Nine weeks of budgeting and different ways of becoming ruler over my finances :-)

This past month has had some ups and downs as usual.  But, I am happy that I'm still moving forward.  In watching an episode of Oprah's Life Class, Iyanla talked about guilt and how it does nothing but consume us.  I felt very guilty allowing 'him' into my space again.....but Iyanla stated that instead of being overcome by the guilt. it's ok to feel convicted, realize what was done wrong, and then continue moving forward.  I felt like that guilt took over and then I ultimately ended up sick last week.  I'm feeling much better, still stuffy and congested, but just taking one day at a time with moving forward.    ~Peace & Blessings~    

Awakening......

So I paid $30 to a therapist on yesterday for her to tell me to Fast...........lol  The fact that I can even laugh now is awesome but I took her advice because I knew she was right.

My awakening freaked me out......the sexual abuse as a child, finding safe love with my grandmother to then be abused again in high school, finding safe love in my husband to only have him die, God took him away........ I now see how I've masked that hurt all these years, overcompensating and just going on with life yet angry inside.  I can now see how I never liked "nice" men......"real men".  It's ok to pause and grieve, heal, and then move on.  Too often things happen in our lives and we just keep trucking along..........it's ok to stop and heal.......but don't get stuck.  I honestly feel like I've been asleep for the past 10 years.  Like my life has been a blur.  You hear of people waking up from coma's and starting life over and that's how I honestly feel.  I can now really begin to heal, live and love, love me.  I've been running too long.  I've ran to College, then to Career, been running to church, self-help books, BLOGS, and it's time to stop running.

I talked to my manager and just thanked her because without her knowing she would see the anger on different days.  In all my years of working no one has ever said anything to me about it.  She then begin to let me in on some of her childhood and upbringing.  It's amazes me the number of people that walk around and interact wrecking havoc on others lives that are simply............broken.

Last night I stared at my plant and for the first time this morning I actually cared about it....... I watered it, looked at the leaves, and then found a nice place to sit it for sunlight.  I think I'm gonna be fine.  All the "you're better than that, get out and enjoy life, you're beautiful"..........I'm starting to see it, embrace it.  I do know one thing, as freaked out as I was seeing myself as if for the first time............I hope it never happens again lol

I allowed a man to drive me crazy........literally..........never again.

~Peace & Blessings~

Updates........

This is an update from my New Years Blog and Goals that I would like to accomplish for 2013........  Still having some challenges when it comes to S............*hangs head*

Below is a list of things I would like to accomplish throughout the year.......

1. Daniel Fast  - Completed 01/2013
2. "The Purpose Driven Life" - Still needing to get caught up!
3. Date Night / Girls Night Out Monthly - Poetry Night (Jan.) Superbowl Party (Feb.) House Party (tonight :-)
4. Dating with no attachments - So tried to step out of the box and give my number to a gentlemen I met........smh.......He hit me the very next day but conversation went south when he referred to me as a "Sweet Tendoroni" and then when I asked if he were involved he stated that I would be his next "Boo"............................................................................................ 39 yrs old :-/
*sighs*
5. Abstinence - Failed the 6 months......but have decided to start with Lent (40 days) and go from there.
6. PhD Program - Application is complete!  Now awaiting for funds to take the GRE Exam.
7. 52 Week Money  Challenge - Had to let this go for first couple months being behind already but will be caught up in the month of March :-) 
8. NO Chemicals or Heat on hair for at least the next 6 months - Braids are still in. Taking down between now and end of month and then will have more pictures so that I'm able to create Post for Hair :-)
9. I will commit to Yoga daily - Hit and miss some days but for the most past have been getting in weekly
10. Cancun or Miami in June (Girlfriends Bday) - First payment due March 1st!
11. Myrtle Beach in August (First Family Reunion) - Family isn't responding as we would like so...........will see........
12. California in December! - Still in the making......

13. Church Participation (Choir, Youth, etc.) - Need to do better!

14. CASA Appointment - Completed Feb. 11th, 2013!!

15. Obtain a Passport - Awaiting Tax Refund to accomplish

16. No Overdraft fee's for the year - Bombed - Rough first couple months.....but hopefully no more starting with March.

17. More toning with weights - Awesome!!!  Picture ---->

18. Six Flags Fiesta Texas / Daughter's bday - Awaiting Tax Refund

19. Mosaic Women's Course - I did decide to let this go for now. May revisit later in the year.

20. Monthly FunDay with kids - Missed Jan. but tomorrow taking them to the Jam Session for All Star!!

21. Take more baths than showers - Need to do better........

22. Blog about every single one of these items - Coming along..........

23. Delta Sigma Theta Centennial Celebration - Still up in the air........

Well there it is.........upset that I've allowed myself to carry something (someone) over into the New Year that I said I wouldn't so praying that can break the bad habit - SOON.

~Peace & Blessings~

How about them Ravens......

So I had a blast this weekend!!!  Friday of course was in the bed early - had my final CASA Training Class Saturday and already have my first case!  Saturday I headed to the basketball game in which I had a wonderful time with my Soror's and then Sunday was the most exciting - my first Super Bowl Party!!  The party was out at this Lakefront property, was just happy to be out enjoying myself......  I exchanged numbers with someone new and even talked of dating someone old.  S was at the game, we took a really nice picture together......looked so happy.....but I had talked about seeing him twice in which he was too busy and reminded me of how unhappy I am.  He made the comment that we should put the picture on our fireplace...................................................................................why oh why does he continue to make comments like that yet say he's not ready for a relationship??

Anyway, something old is really sweet, we'll call him G.....but I just want to take things really slow.  We've been friends for quite some time now and we all know that once that line is crossed there's no turning back.  L will be here in a couple weeks for All Star!!!  Sooooo looking forward to that fun as well..........................

In other news: I've gotten my paperwork (application) together for the PhD Program *nervous*.  I still have to take the GRE and pay the $50 for the app fee.  IRS is not processing refunds of those with Education Credits until Mid February, meaning I can expect my refund sometime early March :-/  Praying that it all works out because application is due March 1.

I hope you had a wonderful time this weekend.  The game was hilarious when the lights went out lol but I really enjoyed Beyonce's performance :-)  Not a Bey Bee but she and the other members did their thing! 

#Motivation

~Peace & Blessings~

Happiness......

Crazy but that's the overwhelming feeling I'm having right now.  Nothing has occurred but on my ride home yesterday I just reminded myself of my word for the year......responsibility......and the responsibility I have for my happiness :-)

I got a call from a Line Sister that I hadn't talked to in years.  We had a big falling out, she was young and has grown so much, and basically called to apologize for the way she handled things......was really nice to hear from her!  She said she had to grow up, was very conservative, had been with the same boyfriend since high school, just a lot of things she didn't know but that she now understands me lol  We fell off from something that at the time I felt was very foolish but our perspectives were just different.  Either way it doesn't matter - I'm just so happy to finally be in touch with my sister again :-)  She taught me how to wear eye shadow at 26/27 lol

Let's see......my best friend L is coming to town!  He's working the All Star Game and got me tickets to attend!!!  He even mentioned a date, which would be really nice since it's been some months since I've been on one, but I'll be happy just enjoying the game and any time we get to spend around each other :-)  Hadn't realized that the games are the same week as Valentine's Day........

Moving on.....looked up the pricing for my daughter's 15th Bday *sighs* (Still can't believe how time has gone by.......)  Have decided to take them during the Spring Break that they are off so that we can make it a Weekend Trip :-)

School Loans......so thankful got good ol' Sallie Mae to review my income and praying for a reduction in the amount that my payments will be. 

CASA Training - 3 more classes!

Fun - Basketball Game at TSU on Feb. 2nd........yea that's gonna be fun - I feel it lol

My co-worker and I have been busting our butts on a new Summer Internship Program and so happy to finally announce that our proposal was approved and now moving up to the VP!!

Yea........moments like these help me to remember - I got things to do, places to see and fun to have!!!

New favorite song "Lose To Win" LOVE!!!

~Peace & Blessings~

Just let me go.......

So once again S and I have had this same, drawn out conversation.  I finally just asked him "What do you want from me?".  He made his way to DC for the Inauguration of our great President Obama's 2nd term, yet couldn't make his way to my Birthday Dinner......excuse given was because of money.  While I understand this, money was not needed.... and his presence was all that I longed for.  He had some excuse for not seeing me before he left and then didn't leave when he said he was.  I hadn't heard from him (minus small text here and there) and then wanted to talk on Monday.  I asked him why?  You can go a day or two without talking to me why do you want to talk now?  Why do you want to ask what my short-term goals are?  Why won't you just let me go!?!!??  I didn't mean to snap but it's like we have these little breaks, I focus my mind on other things, get him out of my system, and then he comes back.  To lay down with him and then have to constantly remind myself that it's nothing more than awesome deep passionate sex is a lot.  His response was "To love me".  I love him.......but loving him hurts.  A couple of weeks ago I finally listened to the lyrics of a song sung by Lauryn Hill that I've often heard but never really "listened" to......."felt like I could've wrote the lyrics myself.  He's having a hard time letting me go so it's up to me to help him.  *Responsibility*

"It could all be so simple, but you'd rather make it hard.

Loving you is like a battle, and we both end up with scars.

Tell me who I have to be, to get some reciprocity.

See no one loves you more than me, and no one ever will.

Is this just a silly game that forces you to act this way….

Forces you to scream my name, and then pretend that you can’t stay. 

Tell me who I have to be, to get some reciprocity. 

See no one loves you more than me, and no one ever will.

No matter how I think we’ve grown you always seem to let me know, it ain’t working…..

And when I try to walk away you hurt yourself to make me stay, this is crazy.

I keep letting you back in, how can I explain myself.

As painful as this thing has been, I just can’t be with no one else.

See I know what we go to do, you let go and I’ll let go too. 

‘Cause no one’s hurt me more than you……..and no one’s ever will.

I've decided to stick with the Cancun Trip......will give me more motivation to get on my workouts and tone up ;-)  Also, thanks to my friend's constant reminder of me being a "good catch", I'm looking forward to getting out and being "caught" ;-)

OAN: I would like to add a Strip Tease Class to my goals for the year...................yep *giggles*

~Peace & Blessings~

BUSY!

So students returned this Monday and OMG SWAMPED!  Yesterday I was thinking I have seriously fell off with blogging soooooooooo *giggles* time for some updates :-) 

Life has been awesome!  I have been feeling sluggish in the mornings now.....partly weather - partly Aunt Dots visit (menstrual cycle) that is vastly approaching *ugh*.  But all in all doing well.  Food is low, trying to push through for the next week or so.  Have been purchasing things that can stretch a meal......may do spaghetti tonight.  Work is well just continually reminding myself to not become complacent again and allow another year to go by without being in PhD program!

Dating Life - Haven't been on any dates......don't really want to. S has been hitting me up, attempting to converse more but the constant reminders of pain keeps me at bay.  He came to visit me in the office, needing to use my phone.  He had it for quite some time and when I leaned over realized he was going through my messages and then pictures.  I went to grab for his phone and he wouldn't give me the password............something to hide......I don't have the patience and just asked that he not go through my phone.  He hasn't done this since we first started talking back in 2011. 

CASA - Have class tonight *ugh* but will be one step closer to finishing program *huge smiles*.

Discipleship Class (Mosaic Women) - Had first class Monday and went really well :-) 
18 Weeks..................................................................................................................................................

Fast - Fell off with Fast, started again, then fell off again *sighs*

Hair - I've had my braids in less than 2 weeks and I'm missing my hair already.  Been watching more YouTube Videos and all I want to do is wash / deep condition / and massage my scalp with sweet smelling stuff smh lol

Money Challenge - I decided for me that instead of doing the deposit/transfer weekly that it would be better to just add up the weeks for the month and then budget out.

Cancun Trip - I may just travel with another sis to Miami, cheaper, haven't seen her in a while.  Plus told myself that I'm not going out of the way with special trips for those that don't for me.  This is not towards the sis' that's going to Cancun but I have another sister (blood) that has traveled across the world every year and has only come to see me once.

So yea.....here are the updates thus far.  I'm tired, want to go to bed, but will push through :-/

~Peace & Blessings~

To my surprise.....

So after the night I had on Tuesday I just knew that my Birthday would still be full of tears, depression, resentment, all of that, but I ended up having the best day!  My co-workers had a surprise gathering for me in which I received Red Velvet Cupcakes, some new tea to try and another gift card to Starbucks......was just really nice :-)

S texted me, "Good morning Beautiful"....... wth ???  I didn't respond until hours later and was like "Should've been Happy Birthday.....smh".  His response was as if I didn't give him a change - SURE - smh.  Then he sends the whole "Happy 25th Birthday to the most beautiful woman I know... I wish you many more right by my side".  :-/  I simply respond "Thank you" and then he puts that he loves me............................................................................................................................................................

So in other news, the day before on Wednesday I won a beautiful Tea Ball from Tea With Rae !!!  She is a Soror that also Blogs and is an Aids/HIV Activist.  I was surprised and quite excited to learn of this news :-)

I have tomorrow off and suppose to go out on tonight (trying to keep word despite nasty weather) but I hope to have even more fun on Saturday with my friends at the Basketball Game and Dinner *huge smiles*

~Peace & Blessings~



Tea Ball - but hopefully mine will be red :-)



Excited to try!

Love Red Velvet Cake *mmmm*

My Birthday!

So today is my Birthday!!!!  I am 30 something........lol  It's crazy 'cause I once thought the age that I am now was old and now when I hear 20 somethings say 30's is old I look at them crazy lol
I am thankful to see another birthday......God has definitely blessed me thus far.  In spite of all my hangups and disobedience He yet keeps His hands on me.  I don't have anything planned for today besides work and can't think of a time that I ever took off for my Birthday from work......always just planned for the weekend *kanye shrug*

I got out on Sunday for a Poetry Event (FUN) but this Saturday I plan to attend a Basketball Game after CASA Training and then head over to my favorite Sushi spot with some friends.  :-) 

Will try to take lots of pictures to post!

~Peace & Blessings~

That moment.......

In 1971 "The Persuaders" had a number 1 hit "Thin Line Between Love and Hate".  I head this song growing up and as with many songs as I child never understood their true meaning and would just sing along.  

In 1998 a famous lyricist R Kelly also had a number 1 hit "When A Woman's Fed Up"..........He said "It's like running out of love.......and it's too late to talk about it".  In 2002 he gave us "A Woman's Threat" .....speaking of how another will enjoy all the pleasures you once had with that woman if you don't act right....

Last night for the first time I had a moment.......I dropped so many F Bomb's and for those that know me know that I rarely curse and it takes a lot for me to reach that point of pesstivity (no it's not an actual word but is for me).  After work I decided to take S a sandwich.  He had been sick in which I admit I didn't believe at first.  But just this last weekend after having a very fun conversation I asked him what I thought was a simple question, "What's the longest you've gone without sex?".  Since our discussion Christmas  I completely let things go, been in my word day and night, praying, just focused on other things.  There was no trap, no underlying motive, was simply asking my friend how long he's ever gone without sex, being I am embarking on Abstinence myself.  Well in his eyes this was a set up.  His first reply was 13 years when he was a virgin in which I responded "Wow......not even a week with us lol  You know what I mean punk! lol"  His second reply was that he was getting upset and would shut down.  I became confused as to how my simple question (to me) could cause him to become so upset.  The text went from that to him ignoring me after telling me he was lending his bedroom to some other girls and was all down heel from there. 

So.....during my visit on yesterday his exact words for explanation were "I know you and it would've been an argument".  Me, being dumbfounded, tried to plea my case, tell him that wasn't true, to please listen, and he then tells me that he's tired of listening to me. ??  That he's been listening to me for the past year and a half and that I need to "shut up and listen".  He had company over that was sitting outside with us and then went inside.....all while he was reading every message I had sent him.  I felt humiliated, embarrassed, hurt.  There was this look in his eyes like he was so disgusted with me....will never forget it.....and here I was bringing him something to eat looking stupid. 

The moment when the love that you had for someone turns into hate.......

I got in my car and the tears begin to come.  I had held them back during the ordeal but could no longer contain them.  My tears turned into a loud cry, I felt so much pain...........my stomach, my head, just a lot............and then that pain turned into anger......rage......."Fuck this!"  "Fuck THIS! I don't deserve this".  And then came..........."Fuck him.....Fuck Him......Fuck HIM!"  This then became "I hate him......"  Yep............ I later asked God for forgiveness of course but at that moment....................................it felt so good.

~Peace & Blessings~

PS: Then I get a text this morning "Good morning beautiful" as if nothing has happened at all.  Done.

Shaky Ground......

Two days later and S is actually surprising me...... I've been allowing him to contact me first, whether it be a phone call or text (while I realize it's mostly text and that's just how he operates), and I enjoy it.  We're not holding the phone listening to dead air and are actually having good conversations.  He's deciding on starting career or going into Grad School, I of course pursuing Doctorate.  Buuuuut I must admit, my lil conscience that's sitting on my left should has her lips pierced together, rolling her eyes like chick it's only been two days please.... that ninja is gonna show out again smh lol  I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.  I was hesistant but asked him on yesterday why now?  Why in such a short period you now want to decide to "behave"?  He simply responded "Because I want to...." MEN....... Either way I said I would allow his actions to show me more than his words and right now he gets an A for effort.

In other news..... I got a Gold Card from Starbucks in the mail (that's when you know it's real lol)  Yes I am a Starbucks Junky! smh  But recently with this change in lifestyle, diet, etc., I've actually laid off coffee.  Very proud of myself and now get their Green Tea Latte's :-) 

Christmas..... This time of the year is an exciting time but also one that saddens me.  I haven't spent a Holiday with any of my blood (besides children) in 9 years now.  My mother, father, are all in California and I miss them dearly.  I have my god-mother that I try to visit but she's about 6 hours away and while I was trying to make that trip this Season my funds will not cover....I struggle just trying to get back and forth to work weekly so.  Summer of 2011 I was out of work and bills got so far behind that I am still trying to play catch up.... Then last Christmas my car went out which I was finally forced to have a car note.  Now don't get my wrong I'm not complaining but this is where we are right now.  I'm thankful, we have shelter, some food, lights, heat, and I have a close girlfriend that will be cooking in which we will be at her house for Christmas day but I pray and will be planning to do better next year.  Have even contemplated taking my tax return and buying our tickets early in the year so that we're already set for the trip.  I'm also thankful that my children are not spoiled brats, expecting everything, they are grateful and understand that I just can't go all out like that.  I will sacrifice a bill and set aside something for them though because that's just me but feel as long as our main items are taken care of we will be fine.

We have each other and that's all that matters because some don't even have that......

~Peace & Blessings~

Change of Heart.....

So I mentioned how I blocked S finally from my phone (at least I think I did in previous blog...)  I blocked him wanting to give a break with the calls, texts, etc.  I noticed that when I would call/text he would be busy, barely respond, etc., but the moment I go silent and no be available is when he would blow me up.  Thanksgiving Day did it for me.  We had just spent time together the night before, pillow fighting, talking, just mad fun.....but then once I got home (30mins later) he didn't respond to a message I sent of arriving home (no biggie) but then he also didn't answer call a few hours later.....nor the call later.....nor the call in the morning.  At about 10am I get a message that he got my messages, so all my calls, but was knocked out (30mins after I left, mind you he had just waken before I arrived to him), had walk at 5:30 in the morning to drive home (45mins) and then went back to sleep.  Was now about to eat with family......  Now I would have no problem with this other than the fact that he took time to send me a message with all that but not 2/3mins to actually pick up the phone and call me back :-/
All while I'm pulling up to his house and realize his truck is still sitting in the driveway :-/

I felt like it was BS, my instincts told me BS, and that was just it.  I was driving to my girlfriends house in Austin (2.5 hours) and during drive just began to think of my sister, best friends, their marriages, families, and just hit me........ I don't want this.  I don't want to be afraid of losing something I don't even have yet and I want to date with purpose.  I want to show my children healthy dating, a healthy relationship, not someone that pops in and out of their lives once a month, every other month.  Someone that will pillow fight with me more than once a month, someone that will answer when I call and make time to talk, someone that I can talk to about my day.  Consistency.....Love.....Respect.....Appreciation.....

A new year is coming up.....my birthday right after....and just taking a deep retrospective look at my life.  The things I continue to put up with, compromises that I continue to make, the pain I continue to subject my heart to.

Change has got to come....... 

~Peace & Blessings~

Catching up.....

So had a blast at HC!!!  I could've stayed in doors, got wasted and still would've had a wonderful time with my Sorority Sisters lol  There weren't a lot of people there as in past but I always have the attitude that my enjoyment not be contingent upon others :-)

Dating: A topic I haven't spoke about in awhile....

So I've recently developed this attitude of spend and give time where it is reciprocated.....and ever since then I've been a happier woman ;-)  I realized that I give so much of me away and have nothing left.  Was dating a guy and felt it was more one-sided..... I have no doubt that he loves and cares for me, my children, but he's just not on my level yet.  This ninja has been making me feel like I'm trippin' for the past 6 + months and I finally got into his Facebook account (I know wrong and amazes me how that becomes viewed as bad as the lying smh lol) ANYWAY, I didn't tell him at first how I knew certain things....just started saying little by little.  Ultimately I did tell him I was happy that all this time he would say I'm trippin', not listening to other people, etc. and now I had his own words.  I told him that I didn't need to hear others and how his actions spoken louder than any words that could grace my ear.  We talked finally and he just started explaining.  We both apologized, he for not being honest and I for going into his Facebook.  He then explained how he doesn't care about any of the girls :-/ and this is where I stop trying to understand the pschy of a man.....  The games, and don't get me wrong women do it to, but OMG.....smh  Both can string either party along and not think twice about it....sad but truth.  We laughted, talked some more, and I just let it all go...... See I know he's young, it's his maturity state now, sad but another truth.  Not sure what will happen between us two but one thing I do know is I'm not wasting anymore of my time, sexiness, on noncense and not happy.  I love him dearly and will be here when needed but I know what I'm dealing with.....have known but now have actual evidence, and will just go from there.

Life is too short and right now I would like to enjoy it, LIVE.  I met another guy and he was just straight head over heels with me and normally nothing would be wrong with that but I think since still dealing with first guy timing is just bad.  I begin to ask God to change my eye-sight......I don't want to miss what God has for me being caught up with something He's trying to pull me away from....if that's the case.

Ok so that's my dating life for the moment.  Drake said it best ".....We sure make it feel like we're together".

So until the real thing comes along I will continue to focus (would like to apply to PhD program this coming Spring), enjoy myself, take care of my children, and just enjoy life!

~Peace & Blessings~

What a year!

Well well lets see.....once again I have not been on my blogging duty!  So much as happened in the last year and I'm so grateful to God.  I've purchased my first new car :-) 

New job at a University (which happens to be playing against my Alma Mater this weekend), still single yet do have somenew new in our lives.....he still has some growing to do and I've recently learned that so do I but I've learned so much about myself and my love life.  Have options....they're always great right?  Anyhoo my girlfriends are doing awesome, being blessed with jobs and family expansions!  My children are doing awesome!  My son has done a total 360 on me.....completes  chores, cleans room, cleans BODY *giggles*, and grades are definitely much better all without my reminder.  My daughter is still the Diva that she is lol  Just received a free upgrade for her phone and is in iPhone Heaven smh.....  Her behavior is the same, attitude here and there from them both but nothing major and I'm such a proud mother.  I'm not perfect but I continue to thank God for his many blessings thrown my way on a daily basis.

School update - I have finished my Master's!!!  Love those three little letters......M.....B......A.... ;-) and now applying to a PhD Program for Juvenile Deliquency at Prairie View A&M University (Praying all goes well). 

Had a little spout with my manager but have realized the amazment with just a lil change in my attitude and reminder of my BIGGER picture and all is well.  "Yes ma'am, no ma'am, thank you, no problem" have become my best friends Monday - Friday 8am to 5pm :-)

Well that's a small glance into my lil life for now.......more to come!

~Peace & Blessings~