It's the Weekend!

So a little update with my goals below.....thinking I'll start copying and pasting the list when I get one knocked off or to list updates...... Here we go....

1. Daniel Fast (1/24/13) - Finished on yesterday. Towards the last week I fell off.  Kept the sweets and alcohol away (minus bday), and even the bread, but when I got down to the meat it got a little tough :-(

2. Reading "The Purpose Driven Life" - Have fallen off by a couple days but still on it!
3. I commit to at least one date night or Girls Night Out Monthly - Next night out will be Feb. 2nd when I attend the TSU Vs. PV Basketball Game ;-)  I printed out some calendars from Outlook and basically have something to attend every month!
4. This year I will date without any attachments - Haven't been on a date yet but so far so good.

5. Celibacy Abstinence - No comment smh *giggles*sighs*

6. Begin PhD Program, or at least the Research pre-requisite class - Still working on
7.52 Week Money  Challenge - Had to dip for gas but will put back with pay next month.

8. NO Chemicals or Heat on hair for at least the next 6 months - Braided up!

9. I will commit to Yoga daily - On it!
10. Cancun or Miami in June (Girlfriends Bday) - Decided to stick with Cancun and have been searching flights ;-)
11. Myrtle Beach in August (First Family Reunion) - Hotel and dates finalized, purchasing next month.
12. California in December! - Will revisit towards the summer months

13. Church Participation - Have been fulfilling #19 so think will merge the two.

14. CASA Appointment - Two more classes and Sworn in on Feb. 11th!!
15. Obtain a Passport - Hoping to have by March

16. No Overdraft fee's for the year - Unfortunately I was unable to keep this goal......towards the end of the month it is pretty rough and needed gas to get back and forth to work *sighs*
17. I would like to workout more with weights as to tone my body - Found awesome video's with Tone It Up Blog that helps me stay on this!  Now doing 2-a-days :-)
18. Six Flags Fiesta Texas for my daughters bday - Have priced all expenses and it's a go!
19. Complete a Mosaic Women's Course at our church - So far so good.....15 more weeks in completion should be in May.

20. Have a least one fun day with my children Monthly - My son has been gone every weekend this month!  He likes to skateboard and be with his friends......but my daughter and I have had some nice outings at the Mall and even took some pics in the little Photo Booth *huge smiles*
21. Take more baths than showers - Need to stick to Wed. / Thurs. for starters but have taken one or two so far this year.....
22. Blog about every single one of these items (hopefully attaching some pics here and there).....helping me to Blog more :-) - I think I've been doing pretty good with this.  I don't have Internet at home so I don't Blog as much on the weekend.
23. Delta Sigma Theta Centennial Celebration - This is still up in the air......we'll see.

So there's my update.  Maybe I'll update the last Friday of every month :-)

Also, I've finally changed my name on Social Sites and even added a new Profile Pic *below* ;-)

Have an awesome weekend!!!

~Peace & Blessings~

Happiness......

Crazy but that's the overwhelming feeling I'm having right now.  Nothing has occurred but on my ride home yesterday I just reminded myself of my word for the year......responsibility......and the responsibility I have for my happiness :-)

I got a call from a Line Sister that I hadn't talked to in years.  We had a big falling out, she was young and has grown so much, and basically called to apologize for the way she handled things......was really nice to hear from her!  She said she had to grow up, was very conservative, had been with the same boyfriend since high school, just a lot of things she didn't know but that she now understands me lol  We fell off from something that at the time I felt was very foolish but our perspectives were just different.  Either way it doesn't matter - I'm just so happy to finally be in touch with my sister again :-)  She taught me how to wear eye shadow at 26/27 lol

Let's see......my best friend L is coming to town!  He's working the All Star Game and got me tickets to attend!!!  He even mentioned a date, which would be really nice since it's been some months since I've been on one, but I'll be happy just enjoying the game and any time we get to spend around each other :-)  Hadn't realized that the games are the same week as Valentine's Day........

Moving on.....looked up the pricing for my daughter's 15th Bday *sighs* (Still can't believe how time has gone by.......)  Have decided to take them during the Spring Break that they are off so that we can make it a Weekend Trip :-)

School Loans......so thankful got good ol' Sallie Mae to review my income and praying for a reduction in the amount that my payments will be. 

CASA Training - 3 more classes!

Fun - Basketball Game at TSU on Feb. 2nd........yea that's gonna be fun - I feel it lol

My co-worker and I have been busting our butts on a new Summer Internship Program and so happy to finally announce that our proposal was approved and now moving up to the VP!!

Yea........moments like these help me to remember - I got things to do, places to see and fun to have!!!

New favorite song "Lose To Win" LOVE!!!

~Peace & Blessings~

Just let me go.......

So once again S and I have had this same, drawn out conversation.  I finally just asked him "What do you want from me?".  He made his way to DC for the Inauguration of our great President Obama's 2nd term, yet couldn't make his way to my Birthday Dinner......excuse given was because of money.  While I understand this, money was not needed.... and his presence was all that I longed for.  He had some excuse for not seeing me before he left and then didn't leave when he said he was.  I hadn't heard from him (minus small text here and there) and then wanted to talk on Monday.  I asked him why?  You can go a day or two without talking to me why do you want to talk now?  Why do you want to ask what my short-term goals are?  Why won't you just let me go!?!!??  I didn't mean to snap but it's like we have these little breaks, I focus my mind on other things, get him out of my system, and then he comes back.  To lay down with him and then have to constantly remind myself that it's nothing more than awesome deep passionate sex is a lot.  His response was "To love me".  I love him.......but loving him hurts.  A couple of weeks ago I finally listened to the lyrics of a song sung by Lauryn Hill that I've often heard but never really "listened" to......."felt like I could've wrote the lyrics myself.  He's having a hard time letting me go so it's up to me to help him.  *Responsibility*

"It could all be so simple, but you'd rather make it hard.

Loving you is like a battle, and we both end up with scars.

Tell me who I have to be, to get some reciprocity.

See no one loves you more than me, and no one ever will.

Is this just a silly game that forces you to act this way….

Forces you to scream my name, and then pretend that you can’t stay. 

Tell me who I have to be, to get some reciprocity. 

See no one loves you more than me, and no one ever will.

No matter how I think we’ve grown you always seem to let me know, it ain’t working…..

And when I try to walk away you hurt yourself to make me stay, this is crazy.

I keep letting you back in, how can I explain myself.

As painful as this thing has been, I just can’t be with no one else.

See I know what we go to do, you let go and I’ll let go too. 

‘Cause no one’s hurt me more than you……..and no one’s ever will.

I've decided to stick with the Cancun Trip......will give me more motivation to get on my workouts and tone up ;-)  Also, thanks to my friend's constant reminder of me being a "good catch", I'm looking forward to getting out and being "caught" ;-)

OAN: I would like to add a Strip Tease Class to my goals for the year...................yep *giggles*

~Peace & Blessings~

BUSY!

So students returned this Monday and OMG SWAMPED!  Yesterday I was thinking I have seriously fell off with blogging soooooooooo *giggles* time for some updates :-) 

Life has been awesome!  I have been feeling sluggish in the mornings now.....partly weather - partly Aunt Dots visit (menstrual cycle) that is vastly approaching *ugh*.  But all in all doing well.  Food is low, trying to push through for the next week or so.  Have been purchasing things that can stretch a meal......may do spaghetti tonight.  Work is well just continually reminding myself to not become complacent again and allow another year to go by without being in PhD program!

Dating Life - Haven't been on any dates......don't really want to. S has been hitting me up, attempting to converse more but the constant reminders of pain keeps me at bay.  He came to visit me in the office, needing to use my phone.  He had it for quite some time and when I leaned over realized he was going through my messages and then pictures.  I went to grab for his phone and he wouldn't give me the password............something to hide......I don't have the patience and just asked that he not go through my phone.  He hasn't done this since we first started talking back in 2011. 

CASA - Have class tonight *ugh* but will be one step closer to finishing program *huge smiles*.

Discipleship Class (Mosaic Women) - Had first class Monday and went really well :-) 
18 Weeks..................................................................................................................................................

Fast - Fell off with Fast, started again, then fell off again *sighs*

Hair - I've had my braids in less than 2 weeks and I'm missing my hair already.  Been watching more YouTube Videos and all I want to do is wash / deep condition / and massage my scalp with sweet smelling stuff smh lol

Money Challenge - I decided for me that instead of doing the deposit/transfer weekly that it would be better to just add up the weeks for the month and then budget out.

Cancun Trip - I may just travel with another sis to Miami, cheaper, haven't seen her in a while.  Plus told myself that I'm not going out of the way with special trips for those that don't for me.  This is not towards the sis' that's going to Cancun but I have another sister (blood) that has traveled across the world every year and has only come to see me once.

So yea.....here are the updates thus far.  I'm tired, want to go to bed, but will push through :-/

~Peace & Blessings~

Happy New Year!!!

My oh my what a year and what a break!  Love working in Higher Ed *giggles*

Let's see where shall I start......have my song, "Tis' So Sweet", my scripture Matthew 26:41, and even a motto I would like to remember throughout the year (thanks to Tyrese), "Expect what you accept from people".  This past year was crazy!  Ups and downs, excitements and tears but I am truly grateful and thankful that I'm still not pushing daisy's.  I spent my break doing some much needed cleaning, physically and mentally.  Ended a relationship and hoping to build a better one with God, family and friends.  My last week of the year is always spent cleaning and developing a new list of goals I would like to accomplish sooooo today I'm gonna do something different.  Along with my list I've taken a word to focus on as well.  I mentioned the word in my last blog but the word again is Responsibility.  Responsibility for my actions and decisions, health, mental stability, etc.  Again this is MY Responsibility so will also remind myself that I can not control the actions of another, perceptions of me, or beliefs.  I'm excited about this year, as with any year, but his year marks the 10th Anniversary of my husband's passing and I'm just doing some things differently.  First on the list is a new phone number.....yep, after 10 years believe it's time.  Like my old car I believe I've been holding on to this number for longer than I should and it's time to let even the 916 go. 

Below is a list of things I would like to accomplish throughout the year.......

1. First on the list is the Daniel Fast.... My sister and her church Pilgrim Rest Baptist Church are doing this fast for the next 21 days and I would like to also join in.  Would like to cleanse my system one, and also for discipline of prayer and devotion.  My walk has dwindled with God and I would like to do better.
2. Along with the fast I'm reading "The Purpose Driven Life".  I've had this book for a couple years now and have never read past the 1st chapter.
3. I commit to at least one date night or Girls Night Out Monthly.
4. This year I will date without any attachments. Having fun for me will be to get out, enjoying meeting others, all while keeping my legs closed.
5. Celibacy Abstinence - Now I'm not even gonna lie, I've never made it past 4 months *hangs head* but I do know that I NEVER want to experience the hurt that I have this past year or so.......therefor the next man that gets a whiff of what's between my legs will be worth it, appreciate it, and take care of it.  I can't say how long.....would like until marriage or even a year, but will start with 6 months and see how that goes.
6. Begin PhD Program, or at least the Research pre-requisite class.
7. Save $500 monthly 52 Week Money  Challenge - With all my bills caught up this could be possible so will attempt to begin after tax time.
8. NO Chemicals or Heat on hair for at least the next 6 months.  I will start blogging about my hair journey shortly.  I wanted to create a new blog but we'll see......
9. I will commit to Yoga daily
10. Cancun or Miami in June (Girlfriends Bday)
11. Myrtle Beach in August (First Family Reunion)
12. California in December! (Haven't spent a Holiday with my parents in 9 years, not happening in 2013).
13. Church Participation (Choir, Youth, etc.)
14. CASA Appointment - I've been volunteering with a Juvenile Court here locally and would like to become a Certified Court Appointed Special Advocate for youth.
15. Obtain a Passport - For the above mentioned #10
16. No Overdraft fee's for the year.......
17. I would like to workout more with weights as to tone my body
18. Six Flags Fiesta Texas for my daughters bday
19. Complete a Mosaic Women's Course at our church....this may clash with CASA but only for a couple of weeks.
20. Have a least one fun day with my children Monthly.
21. Take more baths than showers....
22. Blog about every single one of these items (hopefully attaching some pics here and there).....helping me to Blog more :-)
23. Delta Sigma Theta Centennial Celebration

What I would like my blog to read at the end of 2013.......
2013 was the year…
I showed up as me...
I gave myself the gift of yoga several days a week.
I said “thank you” more.
I trusted the answers I heard within.
I said “no” when my gut told me to.
I created stronger boundaries.
I shared the truth more.
I spent more time breathing than reacting.
I stood tall in the beauty and the shit that is each day, that is living, and I stayed true to me.
I gave myself the gift of knowing I am enough and believing it.
I learned to enjoy me, alone.
I spent more time nurturing relationships with my family and friends than I spent online.
I continued to let go of the expectations of others.
I opened my heart to love in ways I never thought possible....

I don't necessarily find myself waiting for a new year to begin new things....for instance have cut a lot of meat out of my diet couple months ago and the last time I put a chemical in my hair was in June/July of 2012.  But, a New Year brings a different excite, clean slate, to began again.  Let go of past and leave it there, looking forward to new beginnings and events.  I plan to have more happy moments and peace this year in 2013!

~Peace & Blessings~

Finally......

It's the weekend!!!

I have been awaiting this day, like millions of others of course, but today we leave to travel to Dallas, TX :-)  This weekend my job plays my Alma Mater in football and they both have a losing streek smh.....  Debating my school at work is like debating politics and religion therefor I stay away from it as much as possible lol

Any who, excited!  Excited to get away for a bit, even if for a weekend.   Excited about visiting the State Fair and just enjoying my babies :-)  I hadn't written in a bit but forgot to mention that I am now the proud owner of a 2010 Champagne Nissan Altima and have been loving every ride!  Before our rides out of town, while exciting, were very HOT!  I owned a '98 Ford Escort, no air, stick shift (which I loved) but after awhile the tape deck (yes tape deck) went out and we weren't even able to plug our iPod up anymore for music......making trips very boring.  All of that is in the past :-)  I thank God for my old Betsy.....she got me many places....many states and most importantly through school and lasted even with starting my new career.  I must say we've truly been blessed.....

I hope that you have a wonderful weekend....remember to relax and take time to enjoy quietness and peace.

It's a beautiful thing ;-)

~Peace & Blessings~