Dr. Q Sounds Good To Me........

So my title pretty much says it all - I got into the Juvenile Justice Doctoral Program *screams* !!!

I got the call last Friday and have been on cloud 9 ever since *huge smiles*  I have to take some pre-requisite courses since I didn't have a Statistics course in my Master's program but nonetheless I am so thankful to start this next chapter.

Below is my update to goals for the year!

So on with the updates.........

1. Daniel Fast  - Completed 01/2013

2. "The Purpose Driven Life" - Still needing to get caught up!

3. Date Night / Girls Night Out Monthly - Poetry Night (Jan.) Superbowl Party (Feb.) House Party (tonight :-) Night Out with co-worker (March) Fish Fry (April) Alumni Happy Hour & Scholarship Picnic (May) 

4. Dating with no attachments - I haven't had a date this year yet.......and I'm absolutely fine with that......for right now.  This changes so I need to find balance and really be ok with it.

5. Abstinence - Going on two months.......one day at a time......

6. PhD Program - Accepted 04/26/13

7. 52 Week Money  Challenge - I am catching up this month!
8. NO Chemicals or Heat on hair for at least the next 6 months - Weave is out!  I cut it short by a month to allow my hair to breath before summer.
9. I will commit to Yoga daily - Hit and miss some days but for the most past have been getting in weekly
10. Cancun or Miami in June (Girlfriends Bday) - Trip paid for!!!  Cancun here I come!!
11. Myrtle Beach in August (First Family Reunion) - Not happening :-(
12. California in December! - Still in the making......

13. Church Participation (Choir, Youth, etc.) - Need to do better!

14. CASA Appointment - Completed Feb. 11th, 2013!!

15. Obtain a Passport - Accomplished! Mar. 9th, 2013
16. No Overdraft fee's for the year - Bombed - Rough first couple months.....but hopefully no more starting with March.

17. More toning with weights - Been on it - twice a day some days!!

18. Six Flags Fiesta Texas / Daughter's bday - Decided to not do.  Started Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and just decided to put that money towards all bills being caught up.  She's getting her hair done instead :-)
19. Mosaic Women's Course - I did decide to let this go for now. I may revisit later in the year.

20. Monthly FunDay with kids - Dave & Buster's tonight!

21. Take more baths than showers - Doing much better......
22. Blog about every single one of these items - Can't believed I missed the entire month of March but will do better.....

23. Delta Sigma Theta Centennial Celebration - Not happening

24. Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace - Completed 04/2013

 

Super excited about all the changes!!!  No new love interest......but just enjoying my time and life!  I'm loving my hair, will try to create separate blog for that journey.  June will make one year since I've had a perm and just loving the freedom!! 

 

~Peace & Blessings~

It's the Weekend!

So a little update with my goals below.....thinking I'll start copying and pasting the list when I get one knocked off or to list updates...... Here we go....

1. Daniel Fast (1/24/13) - Finished on yesterday. Towards the last week I fell off.  Kept the sweets and alcohol away (minus bday), and even the bread, but when I got down to the meat it got a little tough :-(

2. Reading "The Purpose Driven Life" - Have fallen off by a couple days but still on it!
3. I commit to at least one date night or Girls Night Out Monthly - Next night out will be Feb. 2nd when I attend the TSU Vs. PV Basketball Game ;-)  I printed out some calendars from Outlook and basically have something to attend every month!
4. This year I will date without any attachments - Haven't been on a date yet but so far so good.

5. Celibacy Abstinence - No comment smh *giggles*sighs*

6. Begin PhD Program, or at least the Research pre-requisite class - Still working on
7.52 Week Money  Challenge - Had to dip for gas but will put back with pay next month.

8. NO Chemicals or Heat on hair for at least the next 6 months - Braided up!

9. I will commit to Yoga daily - On it!
10. Cancun or Miami in June (Girlfriends Bday) - Decided to stick with Cancun and have been searching flights ;-)
11. Myrtle Beach in August (First Family Reunion) - Hotel and dates finalized, purchasing next month.
12. California in December! - Will revisit towards the summer months

13. Church Participation - Have been fulfilling #19 so think will merge the two.

14. CASA Appointment - Two more classes and Sworn in on Feb. 11th!!
15. Obtain a Passport - Hoping to have by March

16. No Overdraft fee's for the year - Unfortunately I was unable to keep this goal......towards the end of the month it is pretty rough and needed gas to get back and forth to work *sighs*
17. I would like to workout more with weights as to tone my body - Found awesome video's with Tone It Up Blog that helps me stay on this!  Now doing 2-a-days :-)
18. Six Flags Fiesta Texas for my daughters bday - Have priced all expenses and it's a go!
19. Complete a Mosaic Women's Course at our church - So far so good.....15 more weeks in completion should be in May.

20. Have a least one fun day with my children Monthly - My son has been gone every weekend this month!  He likes to skateboard and be with his friends......but my daughter and I have had some nice outings at the Mall and even took some pics in the little Photo Booth *huge smiles*
21. Take more baths than showers - Need to stick to Wed. / Thurs. for starters but have taken one or two so far this year.....
22. Blog about every single one of these items (hopefully attaching some pics here and there).....helping me to Blog more :-) - I think I've been doing pretty good with this.  I don't have Internet at home so I don't Blog as much on the weekend.
23. Delta Sigma Theta Centennial Celebration - This is still up in the air......we'll see.

So there's my update.  Maybe I'll update the last Friday of every month :-)

Also, I've finally changed my name on Social Sites and even added a new Profile Pic *below* ;-)

Have an awesome weekend!!!

~Peace & Blessings~

Challenges......

Had a wonderful weekend....my son had a Holiday Concert which is always really nice.  My daughter sung in the choir the past 2 years and then my son decided this last year to take the class.  Afterwards we took a family photo by the huge Christmas tree in the foyer, went to Walgreen's the next day and had printed on Holiday Cards *huge smile because was a really cheap gift to send our family which they will enjoy a lot*.

Sooooo on to this weekend....... S has been doing awesome with the communicating and reaching out but of course me and my spoiled self want more.  I realize that since our talk (and Jupiter visit) he has not actually picked up the phone to call me....... :-/  I wait......responding to messages.....wait.....got out the house with my girlfriend just to catch up with her and then........I let the texts roll.  I told him that while I appreciated the messages recently that I still would like to hear his voice.  He called and was like "You will not be happy until I just get a damn ring will you"?.  Well.....basically yea lol  But all jokes aside he told me that texting his is form of communication, that he doesn't like being on the phone caking all day, and that as long as he knows I'm good (knows where I am) he's good but that he doesn't understand the need to keep reassuring me that he's "Behaving".  I told him that this change has just occurred within the last week!  Granted I decided to let the past be the past and give him a chance to prove differently but I'm sorry if in the back of my mind I still have moments awaiting his phuck up.  Was talking to my co-worker and he expressed how he went through some things with his GF and it seems to me that when men apologize and are attempting to make amends after their mishaps we're to just "Wa La" be back on the smooth sailing trust ship.  Granted I don't condone checking phones etc., but if that's where she discovered your infidelity then that may be what she needs to rebuild trust....... IDK  I told S that I didn't need to check his e-mail, facebook, nothing because all I wanted to do was validate my feelings (in which he repeatedly told me I was trippin') and have physical evidence in which I ended up retrieving.....there's nothing more that could be done at this point (well maybe someone being pregnant......). 

Moving on..... He stated that he was tired of saying the same things and I just apologized that it's not that easy for me but I hope that he see's I'm making progress.  I wait to actually talk to him and not go on texts fits and unlike him I didn't blow his phone up after realizing he again did not call me.  He then surprised me and asked if I wanted to go eat and to a movie.  AND even mentioned staying the night.  Now this is a shocker because 1. I have to be up super early for work and he has nothing to do since classes are out. 2. We've spent a lot of time with each other these past couple weeks.  I'm not complaining, very appreciative, but of course wondering why STILL.  We go to see "Red Dawn" (awesome by the way), have dinner, and then back to my place.  While he's in the room I go into the kitchen to get some water and AMBUSH.......................................................................................from the counter, to being bent over the couch, to the bed.............................................................................smh  I don't know what got over him but MAN.......last night was straight phu*king...... *giggles*  Well there was a mixture I'll be honest, it's just us, but hard to explain the level of passion we feel it's just......................................................................*sighs*

Anyway once finished we talked........... I mean talked........this past couple talks have been really deep.  A friend led me to ask him about being emotionally detached.  On the phone he first stated that that was not the case, he loves me, in love with me, and very attached.  But then as we talked he began to open up more and more about his actions with these girls.  I knew he had been hurt in the past (Fiance' cheated and ended up pregnant by another guy) but I never realized the extent and damage it could do to a man.  I asked him how he could love me so yet be with another woman and he told me straight up "You're not gonna like what I'm about to say....are you sure you wanna know?"  "I care about you, love you, but enjoy the company of women point blank.  I could take my feelings for you, box them up and sit to the side.  I get to know women, different things you all like, how you operate, and yes I'm guilty, but I could give 2 phucks about how they feel, how their day is going, anything.  After past hurt I told myself I wouldn't allow that sh*t to happen to me again and that the woman that wanted me I would have to know without a shadow of doubt truly did love me".  By this time I'm looking dumbfounded........  I asked him but why keep me around but change out females so much, rotating ???  He said because unlike them I was a challenge (?).... "Do you know how many of these chicks be in my face telling me they love me, wanna have my baby, need me in their life?  I'm sure they be telling other dudes the same thing".  But this is when I asked him but how do you know..........how do you know they don't actually mean it?  He broke down the cycle and as torn as I was I listened because again he was really opening up and I wanted to know inside of his head.  He said, "Yes I enjoy meeting women, first couple of days conversation is cool, you talk, get to know each other, but then you realize this isn't what I want and they start falling by the way side.  They start texting the same 'You don't call me, you don't make time', and they're right I don't.  One woman I have made sure I make time for and keep is you."  But I then asked him if he realized that I was one of them women.......like I've really been proving my damn love. *sighs* I then asked him again why now........why such the epiphany.  He responded "Because after you blocked me and shut down I realized that I could lose you.  You have been here for me through a lot sh*t, through all the hurt you're still here and I realized I may actually lose you and I can't see you not being in my life".  He admitted to being emotionally detached, broke down difference between where we are now and what it would mean to actually be in a relationship.......calls for no reason, breakfast/lunch, etc., he just started listing things and I asked him "Do you realize you do some of those things now?"  This very conversation reminded me of a friend that I have, was 45 at the time, found out he was in a relationship (moved past all that, they're married and now talk to him like a big brother every now and then) anyway he confided in me that he didn't realize he was in a relationship until a year or 2.......he realized that he was doing all the things yet saying he wanted none of it (parking lot pimping Kappa smh lol) But S's words made me think back on this.  He says he's not "there" yet, yes he loves me, yes he wants to be monogamous, yes he is DONE playing, yet I'm like so all that's missing is a title...........?  He enjoys our time, want to have more of it, nervous about stepping into a Step Father role because he grew up with his father, he didn't have his physical mother but his dad took him and raised him so he told me he needs help in that area. "I need Step Father for the Dummy".  Only thing is how can I help him if I don't know myself........ :-(  It would all be new to us.  Difference is my children are older, they're teens, they've been raised (minus little life lessons to now experience).  I have no idea how this should go.......

Anyway, think I've written enough.  Oh.......of course after 2-3 hours of talking, expressing, opening up about who all we've been with this past time period, we ended up at it again smh  4 am.......I.....AM......SO......TIRED......
One thing we do have on point is our sex.....mind blowing, hair pulling, "body folding" as one of my readers would say *giggles*....... Now if his actions will continue to align with what he's conveyed recently.......................

~Peace & Blessings~