Dating.....

I need to vent my dating life...... My girlfriends are not always available and I don't want to constantly nag/bug about this crazy roller coaster I go thru (although they, including 2 guys, are very supportive and experience some of the same....) so I want to start writing about it.  I have a journal that I keep but often miss writing and want this strictly to be my dating adventures.  So with that being said I begin......

Single Mother - Single Parent (Widow) - 2 Children, daughter 14 and son 13 - Educated (MBA)
Work - Clean - Cook - Fun ( I believe) - In Shape - God Fearing - ..............yea all that, that's me.

Them.....

1. DJ 
History - Cool friendship (I thought) messing around for over the past 5 years, live in different states so always made time when I was in town, speak here and there, holidays, check on each other, etc.  Has one son, dropped out of college but makes a decent living doing his passion.

Current - Recently found out thru a social site that not only is he in a relationship but has a baby on the way...................................................................................................

Thoughts - Our friendship wasn't what I thought it was, I felt hurt to find out such information on a site and not from his mouth, wish them both the best.

2. N
History - Have known each other just about as long as DJ, live in different states but see each other occasionally when I visit, parents have been married over 30 years, no children, graduates this Fall, just overall good genes.  The only thing that really bothered me is the smoking.

Current - Graduates this Fall and while not sure where he will reside he does show interest in having a relationship with me.

Thoughts - Can't say I'm totally head over heals for.......but would be willing to give a try.....

3. L
History - I would say he ranks number one......but that's more based off interactions with my children, him being there while in hospital with one, just has always been here for me.  Has one son, finished Master's, parent's have been together a long time, always encouraging and checking on us.

Current - Resides in a different state, more focused on getting career started and being able to see son more consistently.

Thoughts - Not sure how our paths will be but I do understand the son/mother situation so am a good supportive friend and just appreciate when we do get to see each other.

4. S
History - Have known the less from the previous, lives in same state, no children, Military.

Current - Graduates this coming Spring, has given me hell.........have given a break and actually blocked from my cell phone.  I love so much but tired......

Thoughts - Need to allow time to grow......without me.

5. M
History - Have known a couple years.  Two daughters who live in HI.  Criminal background, didn't graduate HS nor College.

Current - Wants to be a rapper :-/ Love the street smarts but also hurts communication demeanor and attitude.

Thoughts -  I care about him but he definitely has some issues to work through.  We actually got into it last night because he was upset that I wouldn't come visit him but how I'm always in another city, etc.  I told him that 1. He doesn't know how I afford to visit the places we go and 2. that he offers to provide gas SOMETIMES but then somehow forgets to retrieve cash etc. *sighs*

So...........those are the ones now (well minus DJ). 

Last week S and I spent some time before Thanksgiving together.  We pillow fighted....played.....was really fun.  But then him not asking what the children and I had planned for the Holiday (knowing we have no family here) hurt....made me feel as if he didn't care.  We went to visit my girlfriend in Austin and on the ride up I thought about her, my ls, another best friend, my sister, and how their relationships are.  They're not perfect but  they have them.  I don't have anyone to play with consistently, talk to about my day, be held by at night, none of that.  I have "play time".  December will be here Saturday, a new year soon and I just refuse to continue down this path.  This summer I developed the attitude of "Give Time and Attention where Time and Attention are Reciprocated", KTQ.  This quote has helped me tremendously!  I know there are things I still would like to accomplish (PhD, Home ownership, Travel) and just trying to channel energy on those things so not caught up so much with this Single Life.  There are some other gentlemen that attempt to date me.  I'm not as attracted to them and haven't felt the connection.  Part of me is ready to take a 6 month break.....6 months to focus on me, develop relationship with God, knock out Goals and prepare myself for what I really want. I have tried before and failed so bad.  But nothing beats trying....... 

Went thru some old post and came across something I wrote back in March of 2010

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6414225538247665074#editor/target=post;postID=94532956188881497


~Peace & Blessings~

What lies ahead......

So this week I prepare to return to Grambling State University....my Alma Mater....for Homecoming!  It is also the HC at my current job so week as been pretty easy breazy.  I'm excited, nervous, haven't been to HC since '08.  Have been in the vacinty but not to the actual HC.  Either way, have had a lot on my mind lately....my career, dating, my children, really trying to get into the PhD program here for my passion of working with Juveniles.  We'll see.......one things for sure is whats to come will be better than whats been.

I'm thankful.  I'm not perfect yet God continues to show His love....pour out blessings.....provides all my needs and wants even when not deserving.

We head out on tomorrow so praying for safe travels.  Update to follow sometime next week ;-)

**So just realized I never published this** smh

~Peace & Blessings~

Catching up.....

So had a blast at HC!!!  I could've stayed in doors, got wasted and still would've had a wonderful time with my Sorority Sisters lol  There weren't a lot of people there as in past but I always have the attitude that my enjoyment not be contingent upon others :-)

Dating: A topic I haven't spoke about in awhile....

So I've recently developed this attitude of spend and give time where it is reciprocated.....and ever since then I've been a happier woman ;-)  I realized that I give so much of me away and have nothing left.  Was dating a guy and felt it was more one-sided..... I have no doubt that he loves and cares for me, my children, but he's just not on my level yet.  This ninja has been making me feel like I'm trippin' for the past 6 + months and I finally got into his Facebook account (I know wrong and amazes me how that becomes viewed as bad as the lying smh lol) ANYWAY, I didn't tell him at first how I knew certain things....just started saying little by little.  Ultimately I did tell him I was happy that all this time he would say I'm trippin', not listening to other people, etc. and now I had his own words.  I told him that I didn't need to hear others and how his actions spoken louder than any words that could grace my ear.  We talked finally and he just started explaining.  We both apologized, he for not being honest and I for going into his Facebook.  He then explained how he doesn't care about any of the girls :-/ and this is where I stop trying to understand the pschy of a man.....  The games, and don't get me wrong women do it to, but OMG.....smh  Both can string either party along and not think twice about it....sad but truth.  We laughted, talked some more, and I just let it all go...... See I know he's young, it's his maturity state now, sad but another truth.  Not sure what will happen between us two but one thing I do know is I'm not wasting anymore of my time, sexiness, on noncense and not happy.  I love him dearly and will be here when needed but I know what I'm dealing with.....have known but now have actual evidence, and will just go from there.

Life is too short and right now I would like to enjoy it, LIVE.  I met another guy and he was just straight head over heels with me and normally nothing would be wrong with that but I think since still dealing with first guy timing is just bad.  I begin to ask God to change my eye-sight......I don't want to miss what God has for me being caught up with something He's trying to pull me away from....if that's the case.

Ok so that's my dating life for the moment.  Drake said it best ".....We sure make it feel like we're together".

So until the real thing comes along I will continue to focus (would like to apply to PhD program this coming Spring), enjoy myself, take care of my children, and just enjoy life!

~Peace & Blessings~

What a Weekend......

So actually it wasn't that my weekend was just so immaculate....was more so the fact that I was able to just get away!  I arrived in time to party with my sis Rami at Club Zouk!!!  Saw some past friends from school and a love interest that I've been friends with for quite some time.  Stayed at the Sheraton, beautiful, had never had a room where you have to use your key to access your floor ;-)  Breakfast served on the top floor....was just all around nice.  Now the game on the other hand....smh  1. It seemed as though Fall just skipped Dallas and that Jack Frost decided to tag along with us.  2. We, as in my Alma Mater, LOST!  Ugh.....  Besides that had a great trip.  My cousins tagged along with my children and besides freezing our tails off and then getting lost on the way back to the car (in which we had to walk around the entire fair grounds to get back to our lot) we had a blast!  I didn't get out on Saturday....had every intention to but after the cold I ended up in the bed by 10pm smh  Got some good sleep though lol

Next up - HOMECOMING!!  I love visiting Louisiana and this will definitely be a blast :-)

~Peace & Blessings~

Finally......

It's the weekend!!!

I have been awaiting this day, like millions of others of course, but today we leave to travel to Dallas, TX :-)  This weekend my job plays my Alma Mater in football and they both have a losing streek smh.....  Debating my school at work is like debating politics and religion therefor I stay away from it as much as possible lol

Any who, excited!  Excited to get away for a bit, even if for a weekend.   Excited about visiting the State Fair and just enjoying my babies :-)  I hadn't written in a bit but forgot to mention that I am now the proud owner of a 2010 Champagne Nissan Altima and have been loving every ride!  Before our rides out of town, while exciting, were very HOT!  I owned a '98 Ford Escort, no air, stick shift (which I loved) but after awhile the tape deck (yes tape deck) went out and we weren't even able to plug our iPod up anymore for music......making trips very boring.  All of that is in the past :-)  I thank God for my old Betsy.....she got me many places....many states and most importantly through school and lasted even with starting my new career.  I must say we've truly been blessed.....

I hope that you have a wonderful weekend....remember to relax and take time to enjoy quietness and peace.

It's a beautiful thing ;-)

~Peace & Blessings~

Player Down.....

So my son plays football, has been for a very long time now (about 8 years).  Last year he wasn't able to play and that's of no one's fault but his own.  We reside in the great state of Texas and here although the children can play in Middle School there is this "No Pass No Play" rule.  Well of course my son decided to be show stopper and class clown of class and played NOTHING for the very first time last year.  I was not about to pay for him to join a league if all he had to do was shut up, focus, and complete work in class and out.  Well him not playing last year has done wonders!  Grades AND behavior are awesome....even at home!  But now we may have another issue......after the first game last week he began to complain of some pain around his waist.  Not sure if it's his waist or maybe a muscle but I'm praying nothing major.  My son loves to play but right now I'm more concerned with his health and making sure he's alright.  Will play nurse mommy tonight and make sure he rest in tub, the ice the area, repeat.

Praying all goes well.....

~Peace & Blessings~

What a year!

Well well lets see.....once again I have not been on my blogging duty!  So much as happened in the last year and I'm so grateful to God.  I've purchased my first new car :-) 

New job at a University (which happens to be playing against my Alma Mater this weekend), still single yet do have somenew new in our lives.....he still has some growing to do and I've recently learned that so do I but I've learned so much about myself and my love life.  Have options....they're always great right?  Anyhoo my girlfriends are doing awesome, being blessed with jobs and family expansions!  My children are doing awesome!  My son has done a total 360 on me.....completes  chores, cleans room, cleans BODY *giggles*, and grades are definitely much better all without my reminder.  My daughter is still the Diva that she is lol  Just received a free upgrade for her phone and is in iPhone Heaven smh.....  Her behavior is the same, attitude here and there from them both but nothing major and I'm such a proud mother.  I'm not perfect but I continue to thank God for his many blessings thrown my way on a daily basis.

School update - I have finished my Master's!!!  Love those three little letters......M.....B......A.... ;-) and now applying to a PhD Program for Juvenile Deliquency at Prairie View A&M University (Praying all goes well). 

Had a little spout with my manager but have realized the amazment with just a lil change in my attitude and reminder of my BIGGER picture and all is well.  "Yes ma'am, no ma'am, thank you, no problem" have become my best friends Monday - Friday 8am to 5pm :-)

Well that's a small glance into my lil life for now.......more to come!

~Peace & Blessings~